peter

Peter, or Pete as he was called in his younger years (which seemed so far away now even though it hadn’t been a decade since he was in school), was a very tall man. This was one thing he always had going for him when it came to women, with the high demand of tall gentleman and all. Peter considered this to be an indication of the possibility that women themselves were growing progressively taller, sometimes even before men could catch up. Peter was a believer in evolutionary theory. Anyway, Peter’s height was always something to be thankful for as his looks were otherwise lacking. He had the sort of face that seemed perpetually sad or stupefied by life. Never very expressive or humorous, Peter was often lost in the shuffle of interesting people that so seemed to outshine him most of his life. He didn’t mind it, for the most part. Patiently, Peter waited for his chance to do something really interesting- he knew he wasn’t a grand talent but he believed, earnestly, that everyone had their moment. However, 31 years went by and “that moment” just never seemed to make itself known.

At the age of 32 Peter made the decision to construct a guillotine in his backyard with which he planned to kill himself.